Mic on Monday: Opening Doors

Good day, AUTHENTIC!

Young men are taught to open doors for ladies. Young women are taught to enter these doors and cross these thresholds. However, when a young man fails to open a door for a lady or when a young woman fails to enter the door and cross the threshold, both are considered deviants or less than man or less than woman.

This weekend my boyfriend took me on a tour of the local aquarium. The animals, the sea life, the people were great. The smells...not so much. But I digress. During one portion of the tour, I witnessed a young girl (no more than 3 or 4 years old) standing with her hands akimbo, complaining to her parents. The father was holding the door open for the little girl and her mother. The mother passed through the door and waited for the young girl to follow suit. However, this precious little mama had something on her mind. As I got closer within earshot, I could hear her explaining to her father, "I want to hold the door for myself." The father watched somewhat amused and a bit confused. Enter the mother. Mom recrossed the threshold and squatted down to eye-level for her daughter and said, "When a man holds a door open for you, you walk through it. You are a lady. That's what ladies do."

"But I'm not lady. I'm a little girl," replied the smart little girl...with some stank on it.

"Well, little girls become ladies when they grow up," explained the mother.

"No they don't!"

"Not if they act like you. Now quit causing a scene and get through this door," commanded the mother.

The father had checked out of this exchange and had focused his attention on the growing bundle of people waiting to walk through the door his daughter sought diligently to not walk through. And this is where my pissedoffedness enters. The mother smacked the little girl on the cheek, grabbed her hand, and told the father, "Come on. We gotta go. She's probably just sleepy and cranky."

Views on corporeal punishment aside, this situation upset me and puzzled me.

Why couldn't the parents allow the little girl to open the door for herself? Why did the mother equate ladyhood with crossing thresholds? Why was the father absent from the conversation?

Am I the only person who thinks that this would have been the perfect opportunity for the parents to recognize their daughter's desire for independence as a growing woman? Why did they not encourage her self-reliance?

Ladies of AUTHENTIC, I need answers.

Till next time...

get up.

get real.

get AUTHENTIC.

m./e