Mic on Monday: Opening Doors

Good day, AUTHENTIC!

Young men are taught to open doors for ladies. Young women are taught to enter these doors and cross these thresholds. However, when a young man fails to open a door for a lady or when a young woman fails to enter the door and cross the threshold, both are considered deviants or less than man or less than woman.

This weekend my boyfriend took me on a tour of the local aquarium. The animals, the sea life, the people were great. The smells...not so much. But I digress. During one portion of the tour, I witnessed a young girl (no more than 3 or 4 years old) standing with her hands akimbo, complaining to her parents. The father was holding the door open for the little girl and her mother. The mother passed through the door and waited for the young girl to follow suit. However, this precious little mama had something on her mind. As I got closer within earshot, I could hear her explaining to her father, "I want to hold the door for myself." The father watched somewhat amused and a bit confused. Enter the mother. Mom recrossed the threshold and squatted down to eye-level for her daughter and said, "When a man holds a door open for you, you walk through it. You are a lady. That's what ladies do."

"But I'm not lady. I'm a little girl," replied the smart little girl...with some stank on it.

"Well, little girls become ladies when they grow up," explained the mother.

"No they don't!"

"Not if they act like you. Now quit causing a scene and get through this door," commanded the mother.

The father had checked out of this exchange and had focused his attention on the growing bundle of people waiting to walk through the door his daughter sought diligently to not walk through. And this is where my pissedoffedness enters. The mother smacked the little girl on the cheek, grabbed her hand, and told the father, "Come on. We gotta go. She's probably just sleepy and cranky."

Views on corporeal punishment aside, this situation upset me and puzzled me.

Why couldn't the parents allow the little girl to open the door for herself? Why did the mother equate ladyhood with crossing thresholds? Why was the father absent from the conversation?

Am I the only person who thinks that this would have been the perfect opportunity for the parents to recognize their daughter's desire for independence as a growing woman? Why did they not encourage her self-reliance?

Ladies of AUTHENTIC, I need answers.

Till next time...

get up.

get real.

get AUTHENTIC.

m./e

Mic on Monday: A Women's Worth

When do you tell a sistafriend that she's falling short of her greatness?

We are almost 1/4 of the way through 2009, and some of us are feeling the weight of our New Year's resolutions. Some of us cheat and eat that extra piece of cheesecake and convince ourselves that Summer is still six months away. Some of us put off calling that old friend thinking that they won't notice you both haven't spoke in months...or years. Some of us haven't told that special someone "I'm sorry," or that they're special. Some of us haven't stopped to appreciate ourselves. Said, "I love me."

Thus, my reason for today's post: this weekend one of my sistafriends received word that her relationship with her boyfriend was over - via text message! As asinine a gesture as this is, my frustration arose because she felt that she deserved this treatment. She's two months away from her Master's degree, beautiful, intelligent, she knows me, [Insert more great adjectives HERE.], so chick is the bomb circa 1995 with all the bells and whistles of the 21st century. Sadly, she has since opted to wait for him to realize that he loves her.

Why?

I am clueless. I've found that this is not uncommon for many of my girls, especially my minority chicks. And with the recent upsettedness that is Rihanna vs. Chris Brown vs. the Media, I find it peculiar that women who, in my opinion, are one step away from ruling the world, have this mindset that they deserve less than their worth when it comes to their romantic life.

Ladies of AUTHENTIC, when do you tell your sistafriend that she's living below her means? In other words, what do you do, what do you say when your girl is cheapening herself and denying her greatness?



get up.
get real.
get AUTHENTIC.

m./e

Mic on Monday: Girl Trouble!

Good day, AUTHENTIC! I apologize for my lapse in posting last week, but Life called, and when I answered the phone she had some very good news for me. That aside, I have a confession to make:

I got girl trouble. It's serious.

Now, I know those of you who know me are trying to rationalize how I can have girl trouble; but, I promise, this time it's mad serious. Check this out.

It is the last Monday of February 2009 and I know that some of you may be asking yourself “where were the obligatory Black History Month posts?” I was having a conversation with a mix of friends this weekend and someone stated that after Obama’s election to the White House, Black History Month seems a thing of the past. The speaker stated that she felt that BHM was important and that it was instituted so that America could realize and acknowledge Black people’s contributions to our country. Since Barack Obama is now President of the United States of America, the goal of BHM has been attained & therefore the month is no longer needed. Now, I found many areas of concern with her logic, but I can’t really include the full or abridged conversation here because I’m not sure that we’ve agreed to abandon this discussion just yet.

I will, however, leave you with what I believe is her main argument:

Barack Obama’s election to the White House signifies the end of the plight of black people. The African Diaspora officially has equal footing in the world and can now enjoy all the rights and privileges of mainstream American society and the greater global community. Basically, blacks no longer need Black History Month because we’re the same as everyone else.

And here’s why I’m not sure the conversation is finished.

I asked her

“If Hillary Clinton won the Presidency, would all of women’s problems be fixed and all women’s works be recognized, creating equal footing for the female gender?”

She has yet to answer.

Was I wrong to pose such an inquiry? Is her logic incorrect? Is my unsettledness due to her being a twenty-something black college student who aligns Beyonce’s female proclamations and calls for dope boys (read Destiny Child’s “Soldier” lyrics) with Nina Simone and Lena Horne’s artistry and political involvement? Or am I really upset because her peasant blouse and skinny jeans with Reebok’s and an “I Heart Black People” hoodie were an affront to the surrounding aesthetic? Help me out, AUTHENTIC. I need answers. Those of the female persuasion.

Whatever the case, get real. Get lifted. Get AUTHENTIC. Happy Monday!

mic